Boomaga – Thing of UNDISCOVERED GENIUS

June 22, 2007

EMPLOYMENT

Filed under: Classifieds — boomaga @ 6:32 am

ADMINISTRATIVE
Can you administer ? Do you enjoy administering ? Get PAID to administer ! Customer Service Position, servicing customers at Le Bileaux-Chabre Bistro and VIP Spa in Greed Hollers. Excellent Hourly wages, Commission of sins, Flexible time and space, Benefits and Great Environment (b.y.o kleenex, mouthwash, straw).
Please send headshots/moneyshots to: Le Bileaux-Chabre, The Mall at Greed Hollers, 2125 Heyabbot Rd. (Next to Sam’s All-Nite Convention Center) Certified Sommeliers / Thai Bodyrub Therapists needed ! NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE

SERVERS
BE A PART OF OUR TEAM FOR THE WEAK SHALL PERISH AND STRONG TRIUMPH !
Brownshirts is Now Hiring for the new Sudetenland Springs location. Some Server positions are still open in our ranks. Join the happiest, funnest, blondest blue-eyedest crew around and help paint the town Brown ! Training begins March 4th so march forth to 1655 Brandenburg Gate (next to the Golden Harchez Palace Chinese Hamburgueseria). 865-951-8166

JOIN THE GANG – WORK AT STEPHEN FETCHITT’S RIVERVIEW TERRACE
Authentic Soul Food in a Gated Community Atmosphere.
Are you standing at the crossroads of your career at midnight ?  Well, feet, get moving. Culinary excellence and great service at every level is our goal, so we got  to jump down, turn around, pick the finest team members.   Mister Bossman is hiring for: hosts, servers, prep, sous and pastry, collardier, pig knucklier, hot sauce sommelier. If your aim is to please, we’re “gwan” to offer competative salaries and opportunities for advancement.   Interview by appt., dress to impress (no caps, tees, gang colors, or bling).   Anyone can sing the blues – let us teach you !   On the Riverwalk next to Club Blanche.   865-951-8166

GENERAL HEMP TO TIRE
Now hiring in the Portland Cementshoe Works !
Products testing, 1st / 2nd shift – temp-to-hire dep. on survival Drug/Bkgnd/Cncious/Pipe screen req, Great Atmosphere (mostly nitrogen), Terrifying Benefits
KILLY SOLUTIONS
EOE/Never a Free
http://www.KLSLTNSCOORGTMPSRVCEMPLAGNCY.com

GET YOUR MIND TOGETHER !
Have You Ever Been Experienced in a manufacturing/production environment ? Yes ? No ? Yes ? Which is it ? You Sure ? Then We Need U ! Electoral Assembly LeCar area. $6.66/hr. Quality Infpectors $7.50/hr + ptomaine. Durg/Bkgrd/SS#/Voting, Verifications req. but not nec. You must be able to read, write, and speak English fluently but not comically. Reliable Trainspot req. Call Today ! where applic. 865-951-8166


MUSICIANS HOOKUP

Filed under: Classifieds — boomaga @ 3:50 am

BLESS THIS MASS
Acoustic&Electric singer seeking signer, musicians for clabberating on
songs, recording, scoring, and gigs. Prefer smaller acoustic-oriented lineup, female sngr/sngwrtr, spayed, strong guitarist. innovative ideas, interesting interests, and covers. No fatties. Classic rock/pop/fizz/fizz country/folk/filk influenzas. Leave massage and nmbr 865-951-8166
LOUD + BUSY = LOUSY !
Wanting to formula a new sound. Quitarist needs Drummer to play Punkass Country/ blues, distorted electric opinions and a good looking vocalist who can sing high and mighty to the old woman in the back. Southern glandrock is back !
Ball me, Cobbie Cobertson, at 865-951-8166
BASS PLAYER
wanted to complete all original, dirty, rock’n jock softball band. Enfluids by bands like: Crack Blowes, Stoning Rolls, Lenny Cribbage, Leg Supplement, Mop the Hooplah, Faeces, Peas Porridge Cult, BITTE MIT UMLAUTS, Hottentots, Solid Jackson, Doombuggy, Mighty Righty and the Hefty Lefties, Beafles, Clemencey Clearwater & Revile LLC, Poop-robot, and Leonard Skinner, Ph. D. Contract 865-951-8166 and ask for Occupant.

June 21, 2007

PERSONAL ADULT SERVICES

Filed under: Classifieds — boomaga @ 9:27 am

*TIFFANY*
Breakfast with Sexy Slender
Big-hatted Californiac Babies
Because Even You Deserve To Get Some
Only the Very Beast !
865-951-8166

QUENCH YOUR DESIRE
w/ravening Radish
Sexy Slender Californial Relations
Simply Divine in the extremeties !
Call Me Anytime ! Except when I’m not home 865-951-8166

SILLY SALLY PLAYS…
Wishy-washy namby-pamby submission for both the hoity-toity and the hoipolloi WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO ? It’s fine with me !
Mature, red-hot redhead, curtains match the drapes. No opinion here either way ! Stars and Garters, 865-951-8166 Tuesday-Monday

BI-CURIOUS LOCALS !
Live Male/Female Phone Chat. Hot multi-tongued ppl. want to explore with you ! Go beyond THE ORDINARY English style and talk on the wild side ! Esp/Fra/Deu/Jap/Rus/Itl 865-951-8166 call and check out the accents you’ve been missing ! Cunning linguists only: yes, I went there. No Esperanto / Klingon
AUDITIONS
ACTORS AND ACTOR-IMPERSONATORS
Brick Sagcardname, 5 yr. veteran actor of GAC’s top soap opera “All My Rowdy Friends” teaches three acting classes. Expert/Adv/Beg/Plead/Film/TV/Commercials/Depositions Class starts Mar. 20, tuition: 1 canned good. 865-951-8166

June 20, 2007

REAL ESTATE

Filed under: Classifieds — boomaga @ 9:11 am
AIRPORT AREA
Convenient to cozy 24hr Bed & Breakfast.
VERYQUIET !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Residential neighborhood, charming, fun, contemplative, moody sometimes. Queen size cats, BnD, santalite TV, public BA. By the night, wk, mo, hr. Pet extra! 865-951-8166
ALL AREAS AND VOLUMES – RMMT.COM
Browse tens of lispings online with photos, maps, stats. Pick your new housemouse with a lick of the mate at http://www.rmmt.com

A MUSICIANS NEIGHBORHOOD/EASTSYDE
Homeslice seeks to share a slice of home, offering as many nights as you need with your pet extra. Pet baby sitter too ! (she won’t bite) $10/night or $400/mo. Lease purch. $5000/down and out, take over pavements. 865-951-8166

ANTIOCH
1 BRA/ 1 BAR avail. in cozy riverside house. “Natural” Pool, W/D (dryer doesn’t work), aquatic fitness ctr., snorkling patio, land reclamation service incl. Must love carp. $30 app. fee & 1 yr. lease/indent. serv. req. Call 865-951-8166 after noon or where applic. Pet extra !

COUNTRY LIVING
Ain’t no life at all, but it could be yr. life ! N/S, mature perfectional to share 2BD townhouse crackerbox. 15 min I-40 max to dwntwn Napablap, no traffic ! Must love checkers, Nehi, rocking chairs, and pet extras. $300 + entitleties. Avail now, to no avail ! Please call 865-951-8166

RUBBERGATE/MADISHELL
Liberal male seeks same, has large home, eyes, love to share with 3 large BR’s, race unimportant, no fatties. $425/mo, sliding based on left-leaning or me-leaning. All extras included including cable, mono HiFi, TV & VCR in the half-bath. 2mi from proving grounds. Non-smoker, non-toker, midnight jokers negot. Furn Avail NOW ! Incall only. 865-951-8166

CAN U BE ZELDA TO MY SID, NANCY TO MY F. SCOTT ?
Looking to rent a flop on Music Row and an old lady to hit rock bottom with. Dropout/punk rocker/writer following path of lit. heros. Will contribute $200/mo. after smack. Please call 865-951-8166

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