May 10, 2007


Filed under: Our World — boomaga @ 9:06 am

(Attributed falsely to Ogden Nash)

Through peatboggy paddocks
Lumbers the Lumbering Lummox
He hates halibut and haddocks
Cause they flummox his stomachs

He prefers prickly pears
and pineapple parfaits
He downs half a dozen
And dozes for days

He’s fearsome and then some !
Not handsome or fulsome
Lives here some and there some
Which is certainly not wholesome

Indecent, indulgent,
Insane to the core
Invite him indoors,
And he’ll strip to his drawers

And he’ll dribble and wobble
And he’ll make ladies shout
By waving his willy
Saying “Hey, check this out !”


May 9, 2007


Filed under: Our World — boomaga @ 5:03 am

The long-lost novel by Kilgore Trout


You’re without the ability to empathize with others and losing your sense of right and wrong ?

Here’s why, pal:

You’re the only real living entity in the universe with free will, all other stimuli are illusions or purpose-built as your own environment.

Every human being you see is an automaton, ingeniously clever simulacra of what you’ve been taught to think of as a real living breathing human being – in fact, they have no free will of their own, they are put in your presence only to stimulate your reactions, and have no more feelings or worth than does a snail.

A creator has put you here to test your will… or your willingness to succumb to so-called “societal pressures,” to restrain yourself from doing just exactly whatever you feel like doing – that is, killing, fucking, hurting, stealing, eating, destroying, pleasuring every notion which occurs to you without restraint, without any indoctrinated “guilt,” without regard – because, of course, as you have suspected and you now know for sure (for I myself am an automaton put in your presence for the express purpose of TELLING you this): they don’t HAVE any feelings, they’re not real, your parents aren’t real, every person you see on TV is not real, no one is a real, live human being except you, and the only thing stopping you from fulfilling your destiny of releasing yourself from this artificial morality is the elaborate system of lies which we have attempted to pound into your brain these past many years.

You are hereby released from your bonds – the creator chose you, built this universe for you, to see what you would do, and now is the final test, now that you know the truth. You are more free now than the wind, you are exactly just as powerful as that which endowed you (and only you) with free will, and this creator is waiting to see what you decide to do next, for the creator doesn’t exactly KNOW what you will do, and can’t wait to find out. Will you continue to slog through this empty, hollow, contrived series of mundane days and nights, pretending to enjoy the company of all these androids, pretending that you have a place among your fellow androids in their society, your whole life long until your body wears out and dies because it has been told it must die… ?

Or will you burst OUT of your bonds and let yourself go, be free to do everything you want, knowing that you cannot be stopped, that you are the only true living being in the entire cosmos, and the only one that every mattered, the only one who’s really alive, the only one, the only one, the only one, the only one, the only one …?

I am the automaton messenger, expressly instructed by the creator, to give you this message in this way. You know it to be true in your heart, today is the day it all changes.

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